Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
