Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
