Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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