fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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