I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
