only if we run a train.
done.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
