i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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