OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize