Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
