ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
