I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
