I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
