i think my tv is drunk
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
