can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
