Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
