I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
