Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
