We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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