I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
