I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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