She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
