while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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