proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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