he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
