Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize