He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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