dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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