We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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