would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just pee around me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
