she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want nice things and good sex
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
