No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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