Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize