What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
