There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
