marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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