So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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