Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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