What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
