he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
operation harelip BJ is a go
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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