I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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