Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
