Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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