I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
