Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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