He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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