i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My ass is underappreciated
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
