its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
