I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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