I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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