Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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