i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
