people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How naked do you want me to be?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
