I just made out with a guy for $7.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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