I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
