I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
