its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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