i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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