It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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