did you get engaged???
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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