Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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