let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
