So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
