She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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