Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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