That's intense
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
