some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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