i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How does one acquire holy water?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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