dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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