White coat. Heels.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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