mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
