Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
