hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
